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Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Spending too much time...
How do you know you've spent too much time on one activity? You start to dream about it.
Most of the people who read this know about Worth1000 and spend a lot of their time there too. Lately, I've been flagging or dqing images that don't comply with the FAQs from that site. Some off theme, some copyright issues and some that are just bad.
Last night I dreamt I was going to adopt this little dog. Such a cute little dog. He had a problem though. Someone had used the Mosaic filter from ps on him. He was all little boxes.
I told the pound I wouldn't adopt him until the filter was removed. Even in my dream the people at the pound looked at each other funny. But I stood firm, I didn't want a dog with gratuitous filters all over him.
Yeah, I need to get out more.
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
Most of the people who read this know about Worth1000 and spend a lot of their time there too. Lately, I've been flagging or dqing images that don't comply with the FAQs from that site. Some off theme, some copyright issues and some that are just bad.
Last night I dreamt I was going to adopt this little dog. Such a cute little dog. He had a problem though. Someone had used the Mosaic filter from ps on him. He was all little boxes.
I told the pound I wouldn't adopt him until the filter was removed. Even in my dream the people at the pound looked at each other funny. But I stood firm, I didn't want a dog with gratuitous filters all over him.
Yeah, I need to get out more.
Monday, June 21, 2004
My neighbor is a saint...
My neighbors came up to me today and asked about the house, what the status is. Well I haven't heard anything so I don't really know, and too scared to find out.
Frank and Elena are really nice people. We get along well, help each other when we can and generally do the neighborly thing. They've told me more than once they don't want to lose me as a neighbor, which I find very flattering because all in all, they've helped me out a lot. Every time I have a leaky pipe or a wiring problem, Frank comes drops everything and comes over. Great people.
So they said they are considering buying my house in foreclosure. His dad passed away a few months ago and he's selling his dad's house. He wants to invest the money in property because he won't get much from the bank. He figures he can buy my house and rent it to me. He doesn't want a different tenant because they'll expect too much and he knows I don't care if the driveway is all chewed up or the garage is still standing by some miracle. He'd only have to do immediate repairs and that's not a lot. I would also do most of the general maintenance myself. He wouldn't have a mortgage so he wouldn't charge a lot in rent.
Besides all that they really don't want to live next to anyone else. That alone makes me feel great.
So I've got to make a few more calls to the mortgage company and figure out how this works but if it works out (keep your fingers crossed) I may not have to move. It's really win-win for everyone, he can get another tax write off too.
Even if it doesn't work, it's made me feel so good to know there are such wonderful people in the world. They've made me feel loved and I love them too.
So to Elena and Frank...THANK YOU FOR THE REAFFIRMATION!
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
Frank and Elena are really nice people. We get along well, help each other when we can and generally do the neighborly thing. They've told me more than once they don't want to lose me as a neighbor, which I find very flattering because all in all, they've helped me out a lot. Every time I have a leaky pipe or a wiring problem, Frank comes drops everything and comes over. Great people.
So they said they are considering buying my house in foreclosure. His dad passed away a few months ago and he's selling his dad's house. He wants to invest the money in property because he won't get much from the bank. He figures he can buy my house and rent it to me. He doesn't want a different tenant because they'll expect too much and he knows I don't care if the driveway is all chewed up or the garage is still standing by some miracle. He'd only have to do immediate repairs and that's not a lot. I would also do most of the general maintenance myself. He wouldn't have a mortgage so he wouldn't charge a lot in rent.
Besides all that they really don't want to live next to anyone else. That alone makes me feel great.
So I've got to make a few more calls to the mortgage company and figure out how this works but if it works out (keep your fingers crossed) I may not have to move. It's really win-win for everyone, he can get another tax write off too.
Even if it doesn't work, it's made me feel so good to know there are such wonderful people in the world. They've made me feel loved and I love them too.
So to Elena and Frank...THANK YOU FOR THE REAFFIRMATION!
Monday, June 14, 2004
w00t!
As you can see from the nifty little thermometer (thanks lette) over to the left, my Vegas fund is growing nicely. I think I might just make it there!!! :)
To those who donated: Thank you so much for your generosity! I will happily acknowledge you publically if you want, but since I don't have your permission yet I won't reveal your identities :)
You are awesome!!
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
To those who donated: Thank you so much for your generosity! I will happily acknowledge you publically if you want, but since I don't have your permission yet I won't reveal your identities :)
You are awesome!!
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Strange and sad week...hope next one is better
Seems everytime I mentioned "them" in my blog the minion would show up at my door. He showed up 2 days in a row. When he left Wednesday he said he'd be back on Thursday. I decided not to blog about it as a test and sure enough, he was a no-show. I hope this mere mention now isn't enough to bring him back. If it is, last post about them ever.
I found out on Friday that my neighbors dog, Dutchess, had to be put to sleep. Dutchess was a great dog. I would tell everyone she was my dog and I just let the neighbors keep her at their house.
Dutchess loved me...no, she worshipped me. She did anything I told her to, almost uncannily. She would come to me, she'd lie at my feet, she'd pee out of excitement to see me. I would dog-sit her when they went on vacation and take her for long walks in the park during good weather. I could let her off the leash and we'd roam the wooded areas, she never went too far away from me and always came back when I called her.
I was there when they brought her home, seven years ago. I little six week old puppy that weighed maybe 4 pounds. She was a cross between a Jack Russell and a Dalmation (don't think about the logistics of that too long) and she was just adorable. She grew into a beautiful dalmation size dog with the markings of a Jack.
A week ago Friday she suffered a massive stroke, tore the house up leaving huge dents in brass door knobs. Then she laid down and wouldn't move. They brought her to the vet but never thought she wouldn't be coming back home.
They were afraid to tell me, knowing how upset I'd be. I miss her barking at nothing. I'll miss seeing her jump up into their living room window when she heard my car in the driveway. I'll miss the walks exploring the park. I'll miss being worshipped a little too.
Goodbye Dutchess, you sweet pup!
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
I found out on Friday that my neighbors dog, Dutchess, had to be put to sleep. Dutchess was a great dog. I would tell everyone she was my dog and I just let the neighbors keep her at their house.
Dutchess loved me...no, she worshipped me. She did anything I told her to, almost uncannily. She would come to me, she'd lie at my feet, she'd pee out of excitement to see me. I would dog-sit her when they went on vacation and take her for long walks in the park during good weather. I could let her off the leash and we'd roam the wooded areas, she never went too far away from me and always came back when I called her.
I was there when they brought her home, seven years ago. I little six week old puppy that weighed maybe 4 pounds. She was a cross between a Jack Russell and a Dalmation (don't think about the logistics of that too long) and she was just adorable. She grew into a beautiful dalmation size dog with the markings of a Jack.
A week ago Friday she suffered a massive stroke, tore the house up leaving huge dents in brass door knobs. Then she laid down and wouldn't move. They brought her to the vet but never thought she wouldn't be coming back home.
They were afraid to tell me, knowing how upset I'd be. I miss her barking at nothing. I'll miss seeing her jump up into their living room window when she heard my car in the driveway. I'll miss the walks exploring the park. I'll miss being worshipped a little too.
Goodbye Dutchess, you sweet pup!
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Be careful what you say in your blog...
So having avoided, up until yesterday, putting anything really angsty and pithy into my blog I finally broke down and did it. Thank you to everyone who commented and wrote, for the well wishes and offers and advice. It's given me a very warm feeling to be so loved.
It was mistake to blog all that though, and for far different reasons than I thought it would be. In that blog I mention my ex boyfriend, Satan (that's my pet name for him, but it's really unfair to Satan who I'm sure is a much nicer character).
Late in the afternoon yesterday, I hear a knock at my door. It naturally crossed my mind that it was the bank people or the sheriff or someone so I meekly peered around the corner and there is this handsome guy holding my newspaper. My ex boyfriend's best friend! I'd deliberately stopped speaking to him months ago because he is my ex boyfriends best friend. And yet there he stands.
So I go to the door because it's obvious that I'm home since my front door is wide open and both my cars are in the driveway. I'm a wreck, I need a shower, I'm in comfy clothes (read: slob) and my house is in dire need of a straightening up. I've been on the verge of tears all day and it's showing in my face. All of this will be reported back to the ex (in the past I've made sure that whenever I might encounter him at a social gathering I look my absolute best). But yesterday I didn't even care.
He leaves his car running on the street, a very expensive car...you know the kind that compensates for physical shortcomings. Anyway, he leaves this running to so I know that he's merely on a reconnaissance mission. So I told him...everything. I'm leaving, don't know where to. My life is in turmoil and I'm broke. Go back and tell Satan all this, maybe he'll leave me alone!
I've evoked and summoned the demons with my blog.
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
It was mistake to blog all that though, and for far different reasons than I thought it would be. In that blog I mention my ex boyfriend, Satan (that's my pet name for him, but it's really unfair to Satan who I'm sure is a much nicer character).
Late in the afternoon yesterday, I hear a knock at my door. It naturally crossed my mind that it was the bank people or the sheriff or someone so I meekly peered around the corner and there is this handsome guy holding my newspaper. My ex boyfriend's best friend! I'd deliberately stopped speaking to him months ago because he is my ex boyfriends best friend. And yet there he stands.
So I go to the door because it's obvious that I'm home since my front door is wide open and both my cars are in the driveway. I'm a wreck, I need a shower, I'm in comfy clothes (read: slob) and my house is in dire need of a straightening up. I've been on the verge of tears all day and it's showing in my face. All of this will be reported back to the ex (in the past I've made sure that whenever I might encounter him at a social gathering I look my absolute best). But yesterday I didn't even care.
He leaves his car running on the street, a very expensive car...you know the kind that compensates for physical shortcomings. Anyway, he leaves this running to so I know that he's merely on a reconnaissance mission. So I told him...everything. I'm leaving, don't know where to. My life is in turmoil and I'm broke. Go back and tell Satan all this, maybe he'll leave me alone!
I've evoked and summoned the demons with my blog.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Don't read this...seriously
I need to purge some stuff, bad, depressing stuff. I don't want to be bothered starting a new blog. Please don't read this if it's going to bring you down. This isn't for sympathy or attention. I'd rather just do a primal scream and move on...but I got to get this out. At least if you read it you'll know what's going on I suppose. No sad faces, no "I'm sorrys" though, k? It's a given, it sucks and I know how I'd feel if it were happening to you.
I'm going to lose my house. I've known for quite some time it would happen just not sure when. I still don't know the date but I know it's imminent. Today a guy was sitting in his Mercedes SUV across the street and taking pictures of my house. A real estate appraiser sent by the bank. That was bothersome enough but the guy looked exactly like my ex-husband. I mean identical. It was terrifying.
My ex-husband is a mixed up soul. After we had separated he came into the house at 3 a.m., while I was asleep, and chloroformed me. I woke up handcuffed to the bed and bound at the feet. I didn't know it was him until I heard his voice. His plan was to rape me and kill himself (had a noose set up in the garage). He wanted to traumatize me so I'd never want another man. He could have killed me just with the chloroform (as he put it, "that was a chance I took"). Well skipping over a bunch of details here but it took me from 3 am until 7 pm to talk him out of his plan and get free. Subsquently he was to see a counselor and blah blah...but utimately he left my life and that's just fine with me. Unfortunately, he remains on the deed to the house (not on the mortgage thanks to a refi-type thing the VA did) and I cannot sell the house.
I used my $10,000.00 severance and $40,000.00 401k to try to keep the house. That left me destitute. I've been unable to find a suitable job that pays enough for even my monthly bills not including the mortgage.
Rents in this area are about the same as my mortgage, at least rents in any place you wouldn't fear for your life living.
I have precious little money to even pay the first month and 1.5 month security on an apartment anywhere anyway. I have way too much stuff for any apartment. I also have 3 cats that I'd have to lie about since most places don't want any pets. I'm tired..really, really tired of having to rebuild my life every few years, I think this is the 4th time.
And you know all of this sucks and is really hard to deal with and depressing on it's own. But then I know of other people, liars and scam artists and scoundrels just gliding through life. People who have never made an effort to get anywhere but always step in rose-scented shit. Like my last boyfriend, scuzzball that he was, he never worries about anything he always manages to get away with everything and flourish even. It's no wonder people do drastic things :(
Anyway, not sure how much I'll be blogging or even participating. I need to do something but it all feels so overwhelming. Where do I start? What is my first step? Find a job? (well if I could...) Find an apartment (they'll want me to have a job). Start packing? Just have a total breakdown (I like this option best, but I can't even get a good cry out...tears well up and then dissipate).
shit
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
I'm going to lose my house. I've known for quite some time it would happen just not sure when. I still don't know the date but I know it's imminent. Today a guy was sitting in his Mercedes SUV across the street and taking pictures of my house. A real estate appraiser sent by the bank. That was bothersome enough but the guy looked exactly like my ex-husband. I mean identical. It was terrifying.
My ex-husband is a mixed up soul. After we had separated he came into the house at 3 a.m., while I was asleep, and chloroformed me. I woke up handcuffed to the bed and bound at the feet. I didn't know it was him until I heard his voice. His plan was to rape me and kill himself (had a noose set up in the garage). He wanted to traumatize me so I'd never want another man. He could have killed me just with the chloroform (as he put it, "that was a chance I took"). Well skipping over a bunch of details here but it took me from 3 am until 7 pm to talk him out of his plan and get free. Subsquently he was to see a counselor and blah blah...but utimately he left my life and that's just fine with me. Unfortunately, he remains on the deed to the house (not on the mortgage thanks to a refi-type thing the VA did) and I cannot sell the house.
I used my $10,000.00 severance and $40,000.00 401k to try to keep the house. That left me destitute. I've been unable to find a suitable job that pays enough for even my monthly bills not including the mortgage.
Rents in this area are about the same as my mortgage, at least rents in any place you wouldn't fear for your life living.
I have precious little money to even pay the first month and 1.5 month security on an apartment anywhere anyway. I have way too much stuff for any apartment. I also have 3 cats that I'd have to lie about since most places don't want any pets. I'm tired..really, really tired of having to rebuild my life every few years, I think this is the 4th time.
And you know all of this sucks and is really hard to deal with and depressing on it's own. But then I know of other people, liars and scam artists and scoundrels just gliding through life. People who have never made an effort to get anywhere but always step in rose-scented shit. Like my last boyfriend, scuzzball that he was, he never worries about anything he always manages to get away with everything and flourish even. It's no wonder people do drastic things :(
Anyway, not sure how much I'll be blogging or even participating. I need to do something but it all feels so overwhelming. Where do I start? What is my first step? Find a job? (well if I could...) Find an apartment (they'll want me to have a job). Start packing? Just have a total breakdown (I like this option best, but I can't even get a good cry out...tears well up and then dissipate).
shit
Friday, June 04, 2004
New blog link
I added a link to Redbull's blog. Go check it out, it's so HIM. He chose an appropriate picture for his profile too. Sicko! :D
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
Thursday, June 03, 2004
I want to go to Las Vegas
There's now a donation button over to the left so you can help me get to Las Vegas for the Worth meet in September. Any money collected will go to that cause, anything over the amount I need will go to help others get there :)
Thanks if you contribute!
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
Thanks if you contribute!
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Yet another WTF?
As I'm entering the grocery store I see a shiny new sticker on the door. It says they have a defibrillator. HUH? Why? Yes I could see why having a defibrillator would come in handy. I just imagine the stock persons, late at night, exploding aerosol cans in the employee lounge. Do you want to trust your life to someone who can't remember you want a 1/2 lb. of roast beast and not a lb.?
Would it matter anyway? I mean even if they saw you drop to the floor clutching your chest they have to navigate their way past the lady who always has her cart perpendicular in the aisle and the family of 10 that has to shop en masse, engaging in a 15 minute debate on which jar of pickles to buy in some language other than whatever one(s) you speak so saying "EXCUSE ME" is fruitless.
Forget it, by the time they get to you if there's anything left of the machine to use, you'll already be dead. I'd rather they just took the time to call 911, thank you very much.
Wonder what they charge for the defibrillation?
dolly's world: the fine art of bitchcraft
Would it matter anyway? I mean even if they saw you drop to the floor clutching your chest they have to navigate their way past the lady who always has her cart perpendicular in the aisle and the family of 10 that has to shop en masse, engaging in a 15 minute debate on which jar of pickles to buy in some language other than whatever one(s) you speak so saying "EXCUSE ME" is fruitless.
Forget it, by the time they get to you if there's anything left of the machine to use, you'll already be dead. I'd rather they just took the time to call 911, thank you very much.
Wonder what they charge for the defibrillation?
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